Getting closer to 70 and NOW I’m gaining enough self-confidence to say “thank you.”
I got to thinking when I read Nancy’s great blog this morning…. her blogs are often thought provoking. I hope she doesn’t mind if I repeat part of my comment here.
It’s easy to ask for advice, not so easy to take it. Just like a compliment…we all ask constantly for compliments (maybe not verbally, but in many other ways) and when we get them? Not easy to just say ‘thank you’ after a lifetime of putting ourselves down. Only when we start to grow in confidence can we accept the opinions of others. When we have no self-confidence other peoples opinions often make us react defensively. I’ve written about this before…how my husband said it hurt his feelings when he tried to compliment me and I always gave a self-deprecating response. (you look nice today…. no I don’t, these pants make my belly look huge, etc.) He said it was like giving a gift and having it thrown back at you. I had never thought of it that way, and if I had I would have thought “he must think I need to have someone think I look nice, because I don’t really….” I don’t feel that way any more. Maybe it’s because I’ve been careful just say ‘thank you’ . That’s all, not thanks, but…… that was the old me responding. After doing it long enough you begin to feel good when you get a compliment. If you like this blog, great. If you don’t that’s ok too. I’m a big girl now and not everyone has to like me to make me feel confident. I can do it all by myself.
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I really like your post. It is very true that many of us don’t take compliments well. I never thought of it the way your husband said it. Thank you for these thoughts. I am going to try this method as I tend to do the same thing you did. Thanks again! Have a great day.
You’re welcome. (that’s another hard one, it would be easy to say “you’re welcome, but it wasn’t that great”) lol It’s not an easy habit to break. You have to really concentrate not to say “Oh, I got this at the goodwill store and it’s not all that nice….or, I know it makes my butt look big, or, my daughter gave it to me and I really don’t like the color on me…you get the picture. It’s like if we put ourselves down it’s OK.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! (((((((((SANDY)))))))))
Sniff sniff, thanks for the love.
Your comment is appreciated and THANK YOU! Oh, and I know I have to respond to your email.
The paragraph about your hubby is so true. I can so relate because many times Rodney would tell me I’m beautiful and I deflect deflect deflect until one day I realized if I keep deflecting the compliments will cease.
I LOVE THE BLOG!
Oh, and usually what I learn from him I dish it out on buddyslim.
Like today’s blog. 
YAY! I LOVE being a big girl and wearing big girl pants or panties. 
Ahhh Nancy, sometimes it’s better to drop the panties….and just have fun.
Oh yeah…you’re welcome!
Oh Sandy, That is sooo TRUE. It is hard for so many of us to just take a compliment. I know I have a hard time. BUT I have been really working on it the last few months. People telling my that i look great, you have lost so much weight. I WAS saying “yea, but I need to lose so much more”. Now, I have been doing my best just to say Thank-You and STOP. I have to tell myself YES you do deserve the compliments, I am worthy.
Thank You Sandy for the reminder. I don’t feel alone in this. Oh, Your husband is a wise man, that is a wonderful way of looking at it
I used to do this very thing, any compliment and I wave it away. A friend that I really considered to be a bit of an airhead got me one day. We must have been talking about this very thing. Sounding annoyed she looked at me and said, “has it ever occurred to you that he (hubby) sees you through the eyes of love and thinks your the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen”. Wow, that got me. I never thought of it that way. Lesson learned.
So, come on ladies–enjoy the compliments in the spirit it was given–through the eyes of love or the spirit of friendship.
Sandy this is so true. I have a hard time taking compliments or asking for help. But now after reading your blog it made me think and the next time I receive a compliment, instead of saying no I don’t look good, I am going to simply say Thank you!
Love you lady! You’re the best!
I love this!!!! I still do it unfortunately….I will work it. Thanks hun!!
I meant I will work on it. lol
A very True Blog and so nice to know I am not alone and amoung many others
Something I am certainly going to have to practise but like everyone says just not easy to do at all!
Hopefully one day we can all say Thankyou with a smile after a lovely compliment and actually accept it
HI Sandy,
Thank you for your comment on my blog! It feels good to be back. I LOVE what you said here… I do this all the time, and not just with my husband. I really do not want the compliments to end no matter how untrue I think they are. It reminded me of the Bible verse that tells us to take every word captive….that we need to be very mindful of every word that comes out of our mouths and how they affect the people we are talking to!
thanks for the reminder! i need to work on this!